Exhibit E: Mario’s Family Resemblance?
Video game heroes are traditionally people we would like to emulate. Sonic the Hedgehog is fast and quick-witted. The Contra commandos are total badasses, even if they die in one hit. And Link wields a cool sword and has a harem of hot fairy bitches waiting off of him. What kid worth his legos wouldn’t want to be any of these fine role models? Why then, as their flagship hero, does Nintendo choose an overweight, big-nosed plumber with an ungainly moustache and ridiculous suspenders? Why was this, the most unlikely heroic figure, chosen? Unusual yes… but deliberate? Looking at the evidence in light of this new Communist hidden agenda, the answer for this mystery is obvious. Mario, and his short-lived brother, are none other than cartoon representations of Joseph Stalin. Stalin was Russia’s amicus humani, amor patriae or communist super man. So could this “super” Mario represent another “super” man? Well, that is for you to decide.